This Month's Column:

• Worked-In Jeans • Work Expands To Fill The Time Allotted (Part 2) • Screw, Bolt… Nuts!

Worked-In Jeans

First dibs seems only right, since I am, after all, a woodworker. So, before I list my "dirty jeans" for sale on eBay, I want to offer a special deal to my fellow woodworkers.

Figure 1 - Image from the Nordstrom on-line catalog. Why get tired and dirty working when you can just buy these and skip the effort

You have probably seen the "dirty jeans" being offered by Nordstrom for just $425 a pair. These are prewashed denim with fake mud and dirt applied to make them look "worked in" and "used." Millennials everywhere can now fork over the equivalent of two week's pay at minimum wage (after taxes) and achieve, as Nordstrom says, the look of "rugged, Americana workwear."

My "dirty jeans" are actually clean. They have been washed in an old American-made washing machine that uses about 16 times the water of the wimpy low-flow washing machines made today. My jeans were purchased new, meaning blue, as in "blue jeans," from Costco for the whopping price of $12.95 a pair. The only size available is 36 X 32, but after repeated washings, they are probably really about 35 X 31. Four select pairs are available. Each pair has a real patch or two over knees worn through by real work. A couple of the pairs show remnants of real paint from various projects around my house. The right front pocket on each pair shows considerable fraying and real wear from constantly clipping and unclipping my tape measure. The left rear pocket shows wear from carrying a real wallet (not a virtual wallet on my phone), and these jeans will stretch a bit as you wear them, resulting in some sagging at the waist and butt, and some consequent fraying along the bottoms of the legs. In fact, the bottom hem is virtually gone. Specks of Titebond Glue are apparent on all, and one pair has a splotch of construction adhesive. You may find some grease stains, blood stains, and even a little spilled coffee residue, too.

Figure 2 - These are real... real work, real dirt, real wear and tear

My original plan was to put these on eBay with a starting bid of $200 and watch the bidding go up from there. But for my woodworking friends, if you order these today, you can get them for the one-time super low price of $150. Order two pairs, and I will throw in shipping, free of charge! Don't wait… these are going to go fast! And the fact is, I can't wait to get some money so I can get some more "new" unworked-in jeans. Then I can get them dirty and wear them out the old-fashioned way.

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Steven Johnson is retired from an almost 30-year career selling medical equipment and supplies, and now enjoys improving his shop, his skills, and his designs on a full time basis (although he says home improvement projects and furniture building have been hobbies for most of his adult life). Steven can be reached directly via email at sjohnson@downtoearthwoodworking.com

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